Tuesday, March 13, 2012

That first online dating note

While searching for some tips for a friend, I came across this hilarious yet informative article on online dating. Following is the excerpt from that article.

Be complimentary.

Relatedly, praise is always an easy way to endear people to you (and a much less slimy approach than the famed "neg.") Just limit the praise to something personality-related ("Excellent discernment of good vs. embarrassing mumblecore movies," "Sweet ballet skiing pic,") and avoid physical compliments ("Your legs go on for miles and miles.") Such superficial remarks make you look as creepy and reptilian as an aforementioned neg-er, who drops insults in an attempt to buy himself some social capital.

Make like an ape.

Uh, a literate, typing ape, that is. Research consistently shows that we like people who look, move and -- critically -- talk like us. So tailor your tone to mathttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifch that of the apple of your eye. She's wry and sarcastic? Turn on the drollery. He's earnest and passionate? Amp up the sincerity.

Safety First!

But -- cue the sappy learning-moment-in-"Full-House" music -- don't start blathering in a voice that feels totally phony to you, mmkay? We're assuming you're interested because you have some personality traits in common ... and if you don't, he/she is gonna figure it out very swiftly.

Be brief.

Maybe some people out there love receiving verbose messages, but we'd argue that brevity is a virtue. Who's more intriguing -- the hottie at the bar who wanders over and rattles off a six-minute monologue blending compliments, autobiographical bits and small talk, or the Cool Kid who drops a quick remark and waits for encouragement to continue? Cap your first message at three or four sentences, tops. No need to waste all your witticisms in one shot.

Safety First!

Urban 20-somethings, take note: This tip is especially important for piquing the interest of that tattoo-riddled OKCupid user with a few too many Instagram profile pics. You see, in real-life pickup scenarios, hipsters are elusive creatures who spend hours exchanging information via eye-flashes and hair shakes with nary a word exchanged. Taciturnity is hot.

Make it easy for them to answer.

Generally, this means you should include a query, or at least a comment that obviously begs for a response. Sounds obvious, but you don't want to send a message so pithy and focused that the recipient is back at Square One trying to come up with a zingy response. Simple litmus test: Ask yourself, "If I received this message, could I come up with a few different ways to respond?" You're trying to get the ball rolling, not heave it over like a deflated basketball.

Read full article here: http://edition.cnn.com/2011/08/31/tech/social-media/online-dating-message-netiquette/index.html?hpt=hp_bn11

1 comment:

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